Flying solo

There is a full dog somewhere underneath this head… Recently, while being out and about in Amsterdam (whether it's cycling, on public transport or merely walking in the park), I have found myself having more and more random moments of connection with young parents. This is particularly interesting for me given my decision to decide to not have children of my own - which is to say that this increase in moments is not for any broody reasons. There are a few other factors that contribute to this increase in the frequency of these moments… Firstly, in some ways I kinda am already a parent, even if my child has 4 legs and an incredibly furry body (I continue to make clumsy observations of how similar it is having a dog to having a child). Secondly, as we finally (hopefully) see the last of the pandemic restrictions on their way out, I do believe that people, whether they know it or not, are thirsting for human contact. ...and thirdly, I now make a very conscious decision to stop trying to fill in the silent moments in my life with entertainment, be it screen-time or listening to music and podcasts (more on this in a future post). So it's these three factors combined that result in me both noticing and being visibly open to introducing countless enthusiastic, inquisitive children to my little Benson; thereby experiencing these frequent, brief moments of connection (even if they are all mostly made up out of cute sounds and plenty of pointing from both sides).

Being alone should not equal feeling lonely

I've always thought of podcasts as incredibly good company (ever since I got hooked on them all those years ago back in 2005 when Ricky Gervais introduced the world to the incredibly loveable idiot with a head shaped like a $%^&ing orange, Karl Pilkington). While being out and about in the world, it can be tempting to fill in the "down" time with something, and the phone is an incredibly good tool for doing that. It actually even seems really smart and productive tbh. But in the long run, I believe that it's a quick fix to boredom and/or loneliness - kinda like prescribing medicine for something that can be fixed with exercise. The effect in the short-term may seem similar, but in the long run it's a means to even more dependency. We humans sure are good at forming bad habits very quickly.

"The new normal"

I often try to find relative points in recent memory to compare where I'm at now so that I can contemplate where we might end up one day. One such moment I often think about is the long-lasting effect that something like the tragedy of 9/11 had on flying and on travel in general. The fact that we still have to undergo such an incredibly tedious process every time we fly is a direct consequence of that - something that we just have to take in our stride now, 20+ years later. Amongst many, many other potentially long-lasting societal effects the pandemic has had on us, it has made us have to put a very physical layer of protection between ourselves. Masks cover up our face's main communication hole (who ever referred to a mouth like that?!), and I think that in our constant need to not feel alone, (wireless) earphones cover up the other of our primary communication holes (I did it again!). I deeply hope that mask-wearing by default does not stay as any kind of social norm in the long-run, and I similarly hope that default earphones don't become the standard means of existing in the world. These two things, especially combined, act as very visible barriers to human connection. For me there is something incredibly lovely about having non-consequential human interactions IRL that really just exist in a time and a place, never to be repeated again. The gain on both sides of these interactions is simple: momentary human connection. *

While I still have a choice

It's hard to know where we'll be at in the future, with all of this widely available and affordable technology and platforms designed to stimulate our senses as seamlessly and easily as possible, so while I still have a choice, I'm trying to make an active one - to do my best to not lock myself out of from the world. I aim to do this by keeping my eyes and ears open so that I can continue to see when that adorable bright-eyed child points and says "Mama, woof woof!" and I can introduce them to my little bundle of joy so we can have a moment of actual human (...and canine) connection.

Footnotes

I must recommend the amazing(ly annoying) The Ricky Gervais Show (podcast) - a true comedy gem *I want to briefly acknowledge that I know that not everyone wants to connect in this way, especially those more introverted or constantly confronted with unwanted public attention. I've been told that for some people masks have offered a welcome break from the need to respond or even be approached or given unwanted attention. Also, I will of course continue to respect mask-wearing rules while they are still necessary and am by no means trying to start a conversation about their efficacy :)