Please may I have your attention?

A love letter to the human sitting in front of me… Lately I've been thinking a lot about attention - both mine and others'. It really pains and frustrates me to see people so absorbed in their phones, missing out on the world around them. I mean, they're complete strangers and still it pains me?! Of course, what they choose to focus on really isn't any of my business. When it comes to connecting with you though, it feels different. I value your attention. In fact I need it. I want us to both be here. Fully present. Together. I know I can't change your habits. If you choose to pick up your phone mid-conversation, I won't tell you it's wrong. If multitasking between your phone and our interaction works for you, I won't argue. …and if checking your phone habitually is a need of yours, I understand that too. I'm not trying to change you. Honestly, I can't change you and I know that. I do have boundaries though, and I want to share them with you. Without judgment. I want us to have a choice. We can discuss and even negotiate these boundaries. There may be a middle ground. …and if not, that's okay too. I'll respect that. I don't want to come across as pretentious. I don't think I'm better than you or that my way is the "right" way. I've just learned what works for me and how to express it. It means I care. About us. About our connection. Please, please let's pay attention - to each other and to what's happening right in front of us. Because right here, right now is the closest we will ever get to experiencing actual reality. The rest is just memories and dreams. Love, Mark Here are some quotes about attention that resonated with me recently: "...the reward for attention is always healing. It may begin as the healing of a particular pain - the lost lover, the sickly child, the shattered dream. But what is healed, finally, is the pain that underlies all pain: the pain that we are all, as Rilke phrases it, 'unutterably alone'."

• Julia Cameron "...more than anything else, attention is an act of connection."
• Julia Cameron "The single most powerful thing you can do in a relationship, whether it's personal or professional, is to give someone 100% of your attention."
• Brad Jacobs